My Juicy Peaches

Starting a New Conversation

Stop. Change. Start.  3 very powerful words.  This is an expression I’ve picked up in my travels as an intentional way to declare that one conversation is stopping, a shift is happening and a new conversation is about to start.  Allow me to demonstrate what I mean.
Stop.  The previous conversations that dot this blog site can now be safely and soundly put to rest.  The beach house on the sandy shores of Glebe Bay is built.  The house stands tall, strong and proud, an unquestionable testament to how being willing to have a conversation for what’s possible is all that really stands in the way of us experiencing the life of our dreams.  A beach house — now a grounding and sacred space for me and the people that I love — exists because of an active willingness by many to engage in meaningful conversations that would literally cause a long-time dream to be fulfilled.  Consider this statement:  Everything we as human beings experience happens inside of the conversations we engage in.  We might even consider that we ARE the conversations we engage in.

Change.  Our conversations matter.  They create our reality, our experience of life, and life itself can shift in the space of time it takes to have even a single conversation.  Other shifts may take multiple, possibly even hundreds, of conversations.  If we take all of this as a possible point of view to look from, it’s an easy leap to ask the question “Are the conversations I am engaging in aligned with what I want to create?”  If they don’t align, there is the opening and opportunity for change.

Start.  At some point I think I realized that the fulfillment of my dream beach house was inevitable.  The dream ceased to be a dream or something that was unknown — it began to resemble reality and something concrete.  I had essentially proven to myself that I was the natural designer of my own life.  After all, I had built a house that seemed like a damn near impossibility early on, right?  I could do it again.  I began to take a closer look at other areas where I was not engaging in conversations and therefore not enjoying life to the fullest extent possible.  One conversation in particular was nearly non-existent.  I began to really wonder about why that was.  It scared me.  And I got curious.  It is the start of a new conversation and one I’m excited to unfold for you in my upcoming posts.

Exercise:  I invite you to take a look for yourself at the different areas of your life — areas such as work, family, friends, relationships, spirituality, sex, causes, communities.  Create a list of these areas.  Can you see at least one area where you are not completely satisfied and where you can see that the conversations you (and others) are engaging in there may be creating that reality?  Put a star next to the area you want to explore a little deeper.  For example, suppose you would like to have a 3-hour sex date with your partner at least twice a week but in reality it only happens once in a blue moon and when your schedules align.  Or maybe you are in a career that no longer lights you up like it did 10 years ago and yet you feel compelled to stay in it because you tell yourself that it is the financially responsible thing to do.  End of conversation = End of possibility to create a different reality.  Under the area of life you’ve chosen, list the conversations you are having as well as the conversations you’re not having.  Be sure to include the conversations you only have with yourself.  Essentially these are conversations you are unwilling to have.  Share your observations from this exercise below.

3 thoughts on “Starting a New Conversation

  1. I think the conversations that we don’t have are as important as those we are having. There is so much that is unsaid for a variety of reasons: we think it’s inappropriate to discuss, or (more likely) there’s some fear blocking the conversation. A friend of mine once said: “don’t like the quality of your life? change the quality of your conversations.” He understood unequivocally that who we are is a network of conversations.

  2. That’s really great, Tosh! You can already see the possibility that your life is made up of a series of conversations … maybe even more like a network or web of conversations. Even the conversations we don’t have directly are impacted by the ones we do have. For example, if I have a disagreement with my partner in the morning before he goes to work, that conversation can and does have a real impact on the conversations he has during the day … with his employees, his clients or even the cashier at the grocery store. It is an interesting question to look at … what kind of web are we weaving around us and how far does that web reach? Thanks for your comment!

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